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ryzoncity entry 0.5

From 2020

I will try to write as much as I can for I know you won't get the chance to know me best. I might never live to see you nor the first set of you my children. From an early age I questioned the world and how it operated as if I was born knowing a screw was missing from the mechanism. I once thought about radicalism and the extra curricular activism it comes with; what I am most happy for is that I started to explore ideas very early on my own and I got own of them on my own as well. Asking questions drove me into a the abyss and asking better questions took me out. While they were busy partying in the field I was cooped up figuring out how the world should run. I don't know much, I don't like to read too much because for me reading too much always distract you from fixing the problem. I must dive in and do something. Too many books and less actions, we don't know how to live with the hate of others and that is fucking up the world. 

My dad had a hard time having boys for a while; so much so that he got two women including my mom pregnant around the same time to see which would bring him a boy. Today since all I have thus far is boys he might have put them all into me. Also the other woman had a girl I think of it was also a boy we would’ve been closer. And my dad had a son with a woman long after I was born and after he and my mom separated, he also had a boy when he was younger so I’m not his first nor last son but I am the closest to him and I am from the woman he wanted to marry. The point I’m trying to make is I’m grateful for my boys and if I do get a girl she will be well protected by the boys before her. But damn it feels great to have so many boys! I hope they all bring may more ryzoncity into the world. 

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