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It is my mind

It’s my mind 

Here is a criminal mind in a person who isn’t a criminal or at the very least, exposed to acts of criminality that would drive him in a direction allowing the exploitation of his minds abilities. With a mind such as this, I truly feel alone based on the limiters people whom I must interact with, have on themselves. My fear of alienation grows stronger as it gets closer to me. As I develop more things and people I cannot live without. 

At times I just want to scream in some empty place no one can hear me, I just want to walk around with whatever clothes I feel like wearing and no one noticed the difference. I am not doing art for people I am doing art because it’s my duty. Some people feel alive driving and seeing things, I come alive when I create from a dark white walled room... maybe solitary confinement is perfectly suited for me as long as I am provided papers and a black pigmented ink pen. (I like my pens pigmented) 

I am used to it; being significantly less creative than I actually am, I see the way I think but I hear the disparity in the way I talk in comparison. If it wasn’t for art I would have no other outlet to transform and translate these feelings onto this physical plain. Rather, the means that exists here would wrongfully interfere with others peoples freedoms and in ryzoncity, that! is a sin. 

Some things I write on the web anymore, I am saving them for my book, that way when it’s published after reading it no one can tell me I need to remove anything that possibly a few people already has a copy of. It’s a burden to prevent the words you really want to say from surfacing. Additionally I feel like no one listens to me, I don’t think my voice is even heard on the internet, that is part of the reason why I started to be more open on my website because no one will read it. I don’t feel bad about that in anyway, I am just happy I can voice my opinions without curtailing my language and written thoughts to suit the eyes and perception of people. This is part of the attitude I have towards my upcoming art collection RAAPE (flesh to bones). Before I forget again, I want this blog/website to act as the provider for details about my collections and as a disclaimer for what I’m about to create. I say about to so often because I am yet to truly begin, I have so much dad duty that I can hardly use any of the new tools I have to do so.

What I feel inside is more of a hereditary trait I can recognize due to my exposure and understanding of the mind and genes. I never grew up with my dad always being around but I have many things exactly like him. Apart from my birthmarks which were prayed on by my mom to represent every accident he ever had, it’s the gestures that can spot the similarities in individuals of the same bloodline. It’s the same way I can tell where my ancestors are from just by feeling it. 

This is what I needed; I needed to feel something that I cannot erase with words from my heart or wherever it is feelings generated within me, I needed to feel ashamed, feel embarrassed or ashamed or any such unwelcome feeling of hurt always give me the angry energy I need to create. So here we go! I will fight my way into my desires no matter what else in the real world I have to deal with. I know it may be hard for others to understand but I alone will see this anyway. So imuzi, understand this, you must forced all those feelings of hurt further down and forge them into anger the fuel we need t create. To everyone and I mean everyone you smile and you fucking nod, well maybe not to everyone. Within us, within the seven of us we know the truth and we curtail our verbal output to suit their accepted truths. From now on we shall remain here where we are ignored, here in ryzon’s city. 

What makes me fucked up is how society expect us to subsidize our thinking to facilitate the terrible experiences of others that turned their minds fragile. I will get what I want eventually and of course not by any means necessary but by the legal and right means of achieving things. It may take me longer this way but I don’t intend to fuck with my grandchildren’s future. 

Where is the limit? What boundaries can’t I cross? What more can’t they tolerate about you? What person must you become to live in peace while being so different? Who wants to be embarrassed because of the way they think? No given slut wants to be slut-shamed. 

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Copyright © 2019 ryzoncity 
Created and written by imuzi ryzoncity Thompson 


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